+* café d'âme *+

Love ♥

noreply@blogger.com (m.y.s.e.l.f) — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 03:21:00 +0000

“Love,” Paul says, “never fails” (1 Cor. 13:8 NIV).

The verb Paul uses for the word fail is used elsewhere to describe the demise of a flower as it falls to the ground, withers, and decays. It carries the meaning of death and abolishment. God’s love, says the apostle, will never fall to the ground, wither, and decay. By its nature, it is permanent. It is never abolished.

Love “will last forever” (NLT).
It “never dies” (MSG).
It “never ends” (RSV).
Love “is eternal” (TEV).
God’s love “will never come to an end” (NEB).
Love never fails.

Governments will fail, but God’s love will last. Crowns are temporary, but love is eternal. Your money will run out, but His love never will.

How could God have a love like this? No one has unfailing love. No person can love with perfection. You’re right. No person can. But God is not a person. Unlike our love, His never fails. His love is immensely different from ours.

Our love depends on the receiver of the love. Let a thousand people pass before us, and we will not feel the same about each. Our love will be regulated by their appearance, by their personalities. Even when we find a few people we like, our feelings will fluctuate. How they treat us will affect how we love them. The receiver regulates our love.

Not so with the love of God. We have no thermostatic impact on His love for us. The love of God is born from within Him, not from what He finds in us. His love is uncaused and spontaneous. Does He love us because of our goodness? Because of our kindness? Because of our great faith? No, He loves us because of his goodness, kindness, and great faith. John says it like this: “This is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us” (1 John 4:10 NIV).

Doesn’t this thought comfort you? God’s love does not hinge on yours. The abundance of your love does not increase His. The lack of your love does not diminish His. Your goodness does not enhance His love, nor does your weakness dilute it. What Moses said to Israel is what God says to us:

The LORD did not choose you and lavish His love on you because you were larger or greater than other nations, for you were the smallest of all nations! It was simply because the LORD loves you. (Deut. 7:7–8 NLT)

God loves you simply because He has chosen to do so.

He loves you when you don’t feel lovely.
He loves you when no one else loves you. Others may abandon you, divorce you, and ignore you, but God will love you. Always. No matter what.

This is His sentiment: “I’ll call nobodies and make them somebodies; I’ll call the unloved and make them beloved” (Rom. 9:25 MSG).

This is His promise. “I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love. With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself” (Jer. 31:3 NLT).

Slow Fade..

noreply@blogger.com (m.y.s.e.l.f) — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 08:09:00 +0000

Be careful little eyes what you see
It's the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings
Be careful little feet where you go
For it's the little feet behind you that are sure to follow

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It's a slow fade, it's a slow fade

Be careful little ears what you hear
When flattery leads to compromise, the end is always near
Be careful little lips what you say
For empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day

The journey from your mind to your hands
Is shorter than you're thinking
Be careful if you think you stand
You just might be sinking

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
Daddies never crumble in a day
Families never crumble in a day

Oh be careful little eyes what see
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
For the Father up above is looking down in love
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
---------------------------------------------------

so many storms may come my way
but time will bring it all away
there's no definite trouble that stays and lingers
but the question is,
are you willing to surrender?

the crown of thorns He humbly take
to wash the blood of saints away
that once was pure but then got tainted
by the adversary who is so vain

and so the end to the story came
which road will you choose?
life or flames?
the lips may be stubborn
and the minds may be foul
but let the heart speak above it all

i ain't any perfect
i always fall
and so many times
i thought i can't stand at all

but heed this precious words of mine
that because of Christ
my life still shines

Here i am..♥

noreply@blogger.com (m.y.s.e.l.f) — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 08:09:00 +0000

Just a couple of nights before, i finally get to chat with my dear love, Amy.. oh, how much i missed her, only God knows. well, i've been lonely.. you see, i don't have much friends, and because God didn't intended any of His creations being an island, i may say that i handle loneliness poorly at times. ;p

with my eyelids wanting to hang on the 'Close' sign on the door, i was quite insistent that i should at least chat with her a lil while. it felt so good getting to catch up with her, even for awhile. it's been ages.. she's in New York for the 2-week break from college, at her boyfriend's. she's doing well, busy with school and work. planning to change church tho'. well anyway.. what we chat the other night got me thinkin'..

all along, many of us will have the tendency now and then to feel compeled by people around us, or people that we heard of,.. neh, the self-feeling of inadequacy, those self-chest-beating kinda feeling.. as though you've not done enough.. to feel small around people. i can paint a perfect picture of this.. imagine this: me in the utility room standing with the whole worship team, all those wonderful beings of God, strong and humble, beautiful and lovely.. and then i look at myself.. those rugged posture, trying my very best not to show that i feel intimidated by their appearance, and their air of 'holiness'.. and in the midst of the group, i see them as tall and big.. and the circle narrows to this small gap at one side that suddenly seemed like the donut was bitten off by a fat man. now, that bit is me.. i see myself so small. insignificant - to be exact.

is this normal? i guess so. if you've been there, you know what that cup of tea tastes like. it makes your tummy churn. that night, we talked about our spiritual life. to be honest, i was ashamed of talking about my state.. because, as i pondered about what we talked about that night, i was reminded by what pastor once shared, 'you can't squeeze anything out of nothing'.. and that is what my current state looks like. ding, dong, ring-a-ling clinging bells. the more i thought of it, the more i felt sorry for people around me, of how they've put so much hope on me, and me.. ain't risking myself to even lift my lil finger for anything. no, not poor me. poor them.

i was once a fiery runner, but where did all the fiery went? guess i sprayed the fire extinguisher out on myself. and now, i feel like any 'normal' believer would feel.. safe, comfortable in my ol' lil shelf.. knowing for the very fact that it is already at the very verge of breaking down. are we just too proud to walk out and admit that we need help? and yet, with our self-righteous attitude, we put out our righteous-than-thou roadshow, parading ourselves like we're just A-ok. oh, only God knows those struggles that eats us alive. but, being polite as we are, we learnt well to keep all the ooglies to ourselves. reminds me of what Bree of Desperate Housewives once said to pregnant Susan, "when my feelings are trying to get hold of me, i imagine a box in front of me. i will put all those emotions and feelings into that box like a good woman, and i will put it away in the closet for awhile.. and when i already have some time for myself, i will take that box out and deal with those emotions and feelings one by one alone, like a good woman should." wow, isn't that insightful? (and here i am, trying to be sarcastic =.=")

i ain't crying for sympathy, nor am i pleading for attention. i don't have a point to make, too by the way. so spare me the 'so?' look. i'm just saying, i'm learning. i know i'm slow at things.. i have my flaws, loopholes you'd wish you nobody would see or even notice. all i'm saying is.. i am now admitting my flaws.. more than before. not that i haven't,.. but i guess.. you'll have to do this again and again from time to time in life.. just to keep yourself sane and not being pilled up with pride and circumstances of life. it's just so easy to be blown away by anything nowadays.. really, it is. it is when the pottery is being crushed to the ground, so crushed till it can't be crushed no more that when it is being re-made, it will become stronger. (some people say it applies the same way when you want to have your knees done, *cough.. to make yourself taller)

after the admitting.. it'll be the surrendering part. only when you are empty can you be filled.. reminds me of Dwayne "The Rock", do you smell what the Rock is cookin'? but i say...

Do ya see what Jesus is washin'? ♥

After such..

noreply@blogger.com (m.y.s.e.l.f) — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 06:13:00 +0000

@fter such a long time, my apologies love.. i know i haven't been able to keep up with all the current updates of life. let me try at least. :)

things have been well, all by God's grace.. the LORD has been gracious to me in many ways. so many times i fall short of strength and approval, and perhaps attention, too.. i don't mean attention as in wanting to gain 'attention'.. but that, sometimes you can get so caught up with things you can't see what's going on around you kinda 'attention', if that even makes sense to you at all. haha.

work is fine, period. nothing much to talk about work, because it is really well. God is good. :)

throughout the past few months, honestly speaking.. i don't really know what happened. time flies so fast that i can't keep up with it.. it sure is a great speed runner. things happened so fast and by the time you kinda realize it and want to react, poof... it's gone.

it's just so easy to take something out and discuss it in the blog, like so many do.. but i figured that it's just wasting blog space and readers time. not being an emo head, but just to tell everyone here that i'm fine :) God has been really gracious to me this past few months, showing me things that i thought i never would have seen, hadn't i been in the situation i was at in His timing.

well anyway, i think i'll just blog another time.. here's one of my fav poem.. always quoted it back in school in essay writing :)

Leisure - William Henry Davies

WHAT is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare?—

No time to stand beneath the boughs,
And stare as long as sheep and cows:

No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass:

No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night:

No time to turn at Beauty's glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance:

No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began?

A poor life this if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

God is CHEERING for YOU!! :D

noreply@blogger.com (m.y.s.e.l.f) — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 09:55:00 +0000

"If your God is Mighty enough to ignite the sun, could it be that He is mighty enough to light your path?"
God is for you. Not “may be,” not “has been,” not “was,” not “would be,” but “God is!” He is for you. Today. At this hour. At this minute. As you read this sentence. No need to wait in line or come back tomorrow. He is with you. He could not be closer than he is at this second. His loyalty won’t increase if you are better nor lessen if you are worse. He is for you.

God is for you. Turn to the sidelines; that’s God cheering your run. Look past the finish line; that’s God applauding your steps. Listen for him in the bleachers, shouting your name. Too tired to continue? He’ll carry you. Too discouraged to fight? He’s picking you up. God is for you.
God is for you. Had he a calendar, your birthday would be circled. If he drove a car, your name would be on his bumper. If there’s a tree in heaven, he’s carved your name in the bark. We know he has a tattoo, and we know what it says. “I have written your name on my hand,” he declares (Isa. 49:16)."

@ special guy..

noreply@blogger.com (m.y.s.e.l.f) — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 15:37:00 +0000

Two more weeks and it's full 3 years since we plunged into this spring river.. well, look where it has brought us.. nice picture, huh? :) me think so, too.

you know, some people said, it takes more than just having seemingly beautiful happy, smiling photos together.. it is the ups and downs, the strangling, the tears, crazily hilarious laughter, and most importantly, heavenly chemistry that sparks off wild fire between each other.. all these and more that actually makes the picture perfect. :)

this is Ben @ Ebenezer @ Zhang Song, a pretty boy.. MY pretty boy :) i thank God everyday that He has let us met with each other. i won't say any insanely beautiful love phrases just to leave all of you giddy.. but, i think he deserves all the praises that any good partners are due.

the first time i met him was in our cell group in TARc hostel. Wilson (cell leader) asked him and Eugene out to join us, since they were also new. We went there to visit Patricia, as she was in the process of planning to move out of hostel.

imagine the scene, dark night.. group sitting at the little garden in between the buildings.. and two guys walked down.. and here the spotlight came.. shed light on this seemingly 'weird' creature. (hehe) the first thing that crossed my mind was.. "oh, man.. i soooooo won't get a boyfriend like HIM!!! oh, no i won't!"

jeng, jeng, jeng.. that's why pastor Gloria cautioned, "NEVER say NEVER". haha.. he was this spiky haired, four eyed, dark guy with baggy clothes... and he walked weird! (sorry, babe.. hehe) well.. and that night, we played a game.. and we were suppose to hold hands in a circle.. talking about A.W.K.W.A.R.D. well, what a special tryout. we even get to hold hands even before we knew each other! scary, but special. and scary. haha.

long, long, long, long, long after our first encounter.. i almost totally forgotten about this fella. life went on as usual.. and we started bumping into each other at church. i attended the 2nd service, and he was in the 1st service.. so the only time we ever saw each other were of those split of seconds.. with a small courteous wave. NO TALKING. just smile. and a hand wave. finish.

and..... one fine day.. this guy suddenly popped up in me mind. well, at that period of time, i was having a hard time.. as i was hard crushed by the previous relationship. i was a little desperate, but since God was in control,.. i prayed. "God, show me the right person for me at the right time.. i wish that he'd be someone..lalalalalalala... (macam wish list lah..), amen." all the things i'd hope to see in me future partner.

it's a cruel reality, but after the previous relationship.. i was so heart broken, i find it hard opening my heart and yet, still hoping for a miracle that i'll meet someone special someday. ironic, yes i know. and then.... he just came into the picture, just like that... without me inviting him in. i still remember having him in my thoughts the whole day while i was doing me revision before the exams.. hairwired, but true.

meeting him the first time after a long, long time was really a different experience. before the chinese new year, i took the initiave to get his number from Wilson.. (sad, but true.) it's not that i'm desperate or anything.. but i was actually very curious about how i feel and think towards this guy.. so, i've decided to make friends and get to know him more. so, i text him. scary as it sounds, but i actually remembered the very day i first texted him.. and it was 3 years ago! it was Friday.. (sshhh.. i even remembered the date! hahaha..!!) the rest was then history..

in the process of knowing him, i got to know that he's a great guy with a golden heart.. i hardly meet gentle guys like him. he indeed has a gentle and quiet spirit. being around him is comfortable. although 3 years doesn't seem too long, but not too short either.. he, my very dear partner.. doesn't fail to amaze me in many ways.. now i understand why pastor David saidthat he is still in the process of uncovering and getting to know pastor Gloria.. yes.. it's a beautiful & exciting journey, indeed. :)

many asked if i'd reconsider about this thing we're going on... for the very reason that i've already graduated and proceed to a different stage of life sooner than him. yes, i've given it a thought. a deep thought, i guess. we've discussed about this again and again from time to time.. here's me conviction.. i really love this guy.. and though we may fit each other in certain areas, there are some parts that will deem not to fit perfectly.. so what if we have different footsteps along the way? that doesn't mean we can't walk together.. i believe God has His divine timing for everything.. and it's no mistake that this happened to us. so, instead of drawing conclusions too soon, we've surrendered this issue to God.. and give each other a chance.. to prove and make this work for each other the best we can.. and stand by each other's side.

i really believed God blessed us so much.. and He has really heard me prayers.. i don't know what the future holds, but i know God won't leave us alone.. :) i pray that not only it applies in boy-girl relationships, but in every relationships.. what God has united, let no one separate :D

so, let me re-introduce this great guy i have... he's charming, humble, gentle, understanding, funny, kind, dark, smart, gentleman, detailed, creative, fun, happy guy that loves God and life!! he's non other than..... (drums rolling) ..... Mr. Ebenezer Diong Zhang Song!! *applaus*applaus*

thank you for being such a sweet guy to me.. i pray that this bond we have will never be broken. i thank God that we have this special relationship.. it's really a beautiful thing indeed. love ya! *hugz*

The power of Believing!

noreply@blogger.com (m.y.s.e.l.f) — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 16:06:00 +0000

Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live." (John 11:25)

Last night was my first time sharing in the cell group. To say that i am well prepared is an overstatement. i was only informed in the morning to help in the sharing, and cell was at night! no wonder the bible says that we should prepare ourselves well, so that we are ready to face any questions whatsoever. what an experience.

i shared through the passage in John 11, the death of Lazarus. in the passage, Lazarus was very sick, so Martha and Mary, Lazarus' sisters sent forth someone to inform Jesus about it.. telling him that "the one you love is sick".

When he heard this, Jesus said, "This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God's glory so that God's Son may be glorified through it." Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. Yet when he heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed where he was two more days. ( V.5-6)

After he had said this, he went on to tell them, "Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep; but I am going there to wake him up." His disciples replied, "Lord, if he sleeps, he will get better." Jesus had been speaking of his death, but his disciples thought he meant natural sleep. So then he told them plainly, "Lazarus is dead, and for your sake I am glad I was not there, so that you may believe. But let us go to him." ( V. 11-15 )

"Lord," Martha said to Jesus, "if you had been here, my brother would not have died. But even now I know that whatever You ask of God, God will give You." Jesus said to her, "Your brother will rise again." Martha answered, "I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day." Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me , though he may die, he shall live. And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die. Do you believe this?" She said to Him, "Yes, Lord, I believe that You are the Christ, the Son of God, who is to come into the world." ( V. 21-27 )

Therefore, when Jesus saw her (Mary) weeping, and the Jews who came with her weeping, He groaned in the spirit and what troubled. And He said, "Where have you laid him?" They said to Him, "Lord, come and see." Jesus wept. Then the Jews said, "See how He loved him!" ( V. 33-35)

Then Jesus, again groaning in Himself, came to the tomb. It was a cave, and a stone lay against it. Jesus said, “Take away the stone.” Martha, the sister of him who was dead, said to Him, “Lord, by this time there is a stench, for he has been dead four days.” Jesus said to her, “Did I not say to you that if you would believe you would see the glory of God?”

Then they took away the stone from the place where the dead man was lying. And Jesus lifted up His eyes and said, “Father, I thank You that You have heard Me. And I know that You always hear Me, but because of the people who are standing by I said this, that they may believe that You sent Me.” Now when He had said these things, He cried with a loud voice, “Lazarus, come forth!” And he who had died came out bound hand and foot with graveclothes, and his face was wrapped with a cloth. Jesus said to them, “Loose him, and let him go.” ( V.38-44)

Now, it’s interesting to see that under normal reactions, we get nervous and anxious when our love ones are sick. However, Jesus was not shaken by the fact that Lazarus was critically ill, and said he won’t die but that the sickness shall bring glory to God. Not only that, He even stayed back two more days before he decided to go to Judea. Wow.

By the time He decided to take a move, He already knew that Lazarus was dead! Hmm.. when he reached Bethany, Martha and then Mary met with Jesus.. and said, “if only You were here earlier, Lord..” sob sob. Even the people there were weeping.

This passage is just so us, don’t you think? Lazarus, like our problems & circumstances.. failing. And then, Jesus comes.

Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live." (John 11:25)

Jesus says to us, “Hey, I am the way. Let me help you.” But, there’s a condition. A simple one actually, that you would BELIEVE in Him. Yep, just believe. Believe that He would take you out of your circumstances, your problems, your bad habits, addictions, lack, etc. “oh, Jesus, I believe. I BELIEVE..!” oh, do you?

See, when there is a believing, there is also a part of believing that includes “surrendering”. Believing and surrendering are the subs of each other, you can’t separate that. You can’t say that you believe if you don’t surrender; nor are you able to surrender without first believing. But see how Martha reacted, she said.. “God, Lazarus has been dead for 4 days, he will surely smell bad in there.”

Often times, it’s easy to say that “God, I surrender..” without even giving a second thought or searching our hearts before saying so. Of course, it sounds nice to the ears, but since God is all-knowing, that wouldn’t sound too sincere and honest now, would it? Jesus asked where was Lazarus buried, just like God is asking us, “where’s your problem, my Child?” but then, Martha was not too happy that Jesus wanted the tomb to be opened, she insisted that the place would smell real bad. Just like our ugly parts and encounters, it definitely smell.. and of course God knows it. But we think we know better. See, Martha said she believed Jesus, but now, is she willing to surrender Lazarus to Jesus?

Jesus is the Resurrection and the Life, meaning He has already conquered death and all that is bound by sin. By saying that we believe, but without surrendering, would not put an end to the problem because we would be struggling to let go and let God do His thing. Often times, it’s not that God does not want to save us from our situations, but that we have yet to TOTALLY SURRENDER, though we may think we believe God has a way for it.

Let me give an easier picture. There are 3 linking parts in John11:25

Part 1 - Jesus is the RESURRECTION and the LIFE

Part 2 - whoever BELIEVES in Him

Part 3 - though he may DIE, he shall LIVE

To get from Part 1 to Part 3, which is God being in control and changing our circumstances, there’s an important link in between, which is to BELIEVE, and then to surrender. It is only when we deeply, totally BELIEVE with conviction that we are able to let go and let God. And only by then, God says, “though he may die, he shall LIVE.” The believing and surrendering is the Blood of Christ that separates the dying and the living! Hallelujah!

You see, God does not only know our pain, but He feels our pain, too. When He knew His friend, Lazarus died, and all are so sad, He even groaned in His spirit, and wept! Jesus wept! He knows you need comfort, and not confrontation. He sits beside you, and not walks away. He sees you and me, His precious love ones.

Though there are bound to be ugly things happening in life, God always has a better plan for them! He said that Lazarus’ sickness is not unto death, but that God’s name would be glorified through it. Surely, God’s plan to turn your losing game into victory enables you to give glory to God, and to be of His witness to show His glory to others! Hallelujah!

See, in Verse 41-42, Jesus prayed that people would BELIEVE through the circumstance that Jesus is God sent. Our circumstances bear the essence of Jesus’ testimony that prophesy! (Revelation19:10b) So today, would you choose to believe? Believing that God will provide for your tuition, mending your broken relationships, giving you breakthrough from sins and addictions? God is able, but it takes our part as well.. we are to take part in the process of breakthrough and new hope!.. then only God can lead us from DEATH to LIFE!

So what are you waiting for? Start believing, and surrendering to God, and let Jesus cry out with His loud voice, “Lazarus (problems, circumstances, etc), come forth!... Loose him, and let him go!”

God bless you :)